Happy New Year's Spock
by L122yTorch
Summary: Jim misses the crew's New Year's Eve party, offering a lame excuse to skip the festivities. Spock doesn't buy it, he goes to confront Jim and find out why his captain is disinterested in the celebration.


It was uncharacteristic of him to let his emotions guide him, but it certainly wasn't logic that had brought Spock to Jim Kirk's door. He rang the bell without hesitation and waited for his friend's familiar face to appear in the open door.

Instead, the door opened and he heard a "come in," from somewhere inside.

With a few long strides he was standing in Jim's quarters and the door swooshed shut behind him.

"I know why you're here," Jim said with a conciliatory grin.

"Why am I here?" "Because you want to know why I'm not at the new year's eve party," Jim guessed correctly. "I told you Spock, that I…"

"Whatever reason you are about to provide for missing the party is no more than an excuse," Spock interrupted him.

The Vulcan stood in the middle of the room with his hands neatly folded behind his back. His face was expressionless but a hint of emotion hung on to the curves of his words.

Jim rubbed his thighs with his hands, he was sitting on his bed, rethinking what he was going to say to Spock.

"I just don't feel in the partying mood, okay?" Jim said with a hint of defensiveness.

"Why is that? You are usually 'the life of the party', as they say," Spock hinted of a smile.

Jim huffed a laugh full of air. "Yeah, I know…"

"So what is the real reason you are not at the party?" Spock asked as he took steps toward Jim.

The Vulcan stood in front of Jim awkwardly, so the captain patted the spot on the bed next to him. The mattress shifted under Spock's added weight.

Jim could feel his skin tingle where Spock's shoulder accidentally brushed his. Spock was a forcefield, Jim was keenly aware of his presence, his mannerisms, his speech. He savored every moment that he had with Spock, especially the private moments. But tonight was different.

"It's been a rough year Spock," Jim said truthfully. He glanced sideways at Spock, his eyes getting stuck on the plump lips that worked as the gatekeeper of so much wisdom.

His mind retreated to the scene of his death, and then skipped to his meld with ambassador Spock.

"I died Spock," the words were bitter on his tongue. "And you…god…you lost your whole damn planet," his facial features twisted up in pain.

"What else?" Spock probed.

Jim responded with a look of confused disbelief. "What do you mean what else? You don't think that's enough to deal with?" his voice tipped upward.

"That is not what I mean. What I mean is, I sense that there is something else that pains you."

"How do you know that?"

"I know you," Spock said, his words reverberating around the quiet space.

"And what are your theories? What else do you think is bothering me?"

"I would like for you to tell me Jim."

Kirk breathed out a heavy sigh and shifted his weight on the bed. His hands grasped the fabric that rested on the mattress.

He looked over at Spock, unable to get the words stuck in his throat past the cage of his mouth.

His pink lips were parted and waiting for the orders from his brain.

"Ever since I melded with Spock Prime…"

Spock's eyes turned to saucers. Oh yeah…he hadn't told him about that. Whoops.

"…on Delta Vega…I've found myself missing him…and you…constantly."

"But I am right here," Spock said.

"I know…" Jim replied, unable to articulate his thoughts. "I know you're here, but I want more of you."

A beat of silence passed between them, and his proximity to Spock suddenly seemed stifling.

"I see you and Lieutenant Uhura and I feel…jealous," his bright blue eyes averted the Vulcan's gaze.

"At midnight on New Year's Eve, it's a Terran tradition to kiss…the person you care about."

"And you did not wish to see Uhura and I kiss? That is why you are avoiding the party?"

"…That…and I just wanted to get away. I just wanted to try to stop thinking about you, but being here by myself only made it worse."

"Is that what you want? To stop thinking about me?" Spock asked innocently.

"No…you're everything I want Spock…and it scares me."

"Do you think that these feelings are a side effect of your meld with Spock Prime?"

Jim mouth stretched out in a nervous smile that made the skin next to his azure eyes crinkle. Spock was asking him if he had always had feelings for him. Should he tell him the truth?

"I think it amplified feelings that already existed," he answered in a near whisper. His knuckles grew white where they clutched to the bed, his heart beat furiously.

Spock's warm brown eyes swept over Jim's troubled face. He felt such a strong desire to reach out, to comfort his friend, to fix the situation. His mind reeled with all of the new information presented to him, and while he should be experiencing discomfort or panic…it was safe to say that Spock instead felt…amused.

He savored the warmth of Jim's feelings for him, he let these revelations wash over him and it felt…good.

"The countdown to midnight has begun," a female voice announced over the speakers.

"Ten.."

"You're missing the party Spock."

"Seven.."

"I have not missed anything."

"Five…

Jim knew it was wrong, Spock was still with Nyota. But his green tinged lips were a magnet pulling him closer. His gaze was a black hole, and he was only inches away from the event horizon. It didn't matter if this destroyed him, he was already too far gone.

"One…"

He leaned forward, only a breath away from Spock's face. Spock didn't move or push him away. He let Jim's warm lips glide over his. He let Jim's hand come up to cup his face and Jim's thumb tug his chin so that he'd open his mouth further.

He let Jim's tongue sweep into his mouth and explore the unfamiliar terrain that the captain had longed to charter.

The cylinders in his brain stopped moving, the synapses stopped firing. He should pull away, but he couldn't. He let his mouth be pliable, but he hesitated to reciprocate. That is, until he felt overwhelming disappointment break through his telepathic shields.

So he moved his mouth, he returned the kiss, only for a moment, before they broke apart.

A deep red flush covered Jim's ears, cheeks and neck. He could barely bring himself to make eye contact with Spock, but somehow he managed to look at his friend and utter, "Happy New Year's Spock."


End file.
